14 March, 2012

Emotional fracking...

As anyone who has emerged from a co-dependent relationship knows, the abandoned party quite often goes to great lengths to maintain the warring bonds that join them. Maintaining the dysfunction of co-dependency often involves the party who feels betrayed conducting emotional sabotage in an attempt to overwhelm the resistance of the 'emergent' partner who no longer wishes to be involved in the dramas that have sustained the relationship in the past.

Fracking is also seen in co-dependent social relationships, such as the recent military attempts to postpone USA withdrawal from Afghanistan, or the Executive Director's resignation from Goldman Sachs. Fracking can involve injections of emotional acts or subterfuge of dialogue in an attempt to avoid facing the reality of a breakdown in the relationship status quo. Terminating co-dependent relationships takes a form of bravery that persists in facing the relationship with a determination to resist the inevitable sliding back into the fold of dysfunction. 'Anonymous' are a group who characterise this new meme of social breakaway from social fracking to maintain the New World Order.

It isn't an easy act of disengagement, especially when a large investment of time and energy have been expended to sustain the relationship in the first place. Only a steady and resolute determination, based on recognising the anger associated with cognitive dissonance, can lead to the ultimate conclusion of withdrawal of emotions at all levels, and forgiveness of both self and other for the history that has been created. Eventually the inherent anger
associated with co-dependency will retreat to the background, but will pop up from time to time, especially when new relationships remind one of possible co-dependence re-emerging.